She has seen so much suffering. On this day of mourning, you and your loved ones are in our thoughts. I lost my brother five years ago at the age of 43. Plismy husband passed away at the beginning of this year from brain tumor after being together for almost one mnth now his gone and its the second mnthits just hurts and a headache and making me cry all nitei dnt know wat to do ..i need advice.. Since then, I have no clue or direction with what to do with my life. God has given me strength to carry on. its been around 17 months since I lost my husband, we were married for 34 Years, he was almost 62 when he died suddenly in his sleep of heart failure. People tell me i have to move on. My husband died after autopsy report. From the day we met until the day she died was 7 days less than a year. So I was been very very careful about how I was feeling questioning everything . I looked for evidence of our continuing togetherness from outside sources. Icantgo through another holiday without my family. I did not dwell on these thoughts the first year but now my mind wont stop wondering! I wish I could say you get used to people dying. Blurry. But it doesn't know you will always live in my memory. what are you supposed to do when every major holiday is colored by the loss of a loved one or dearly loved pet? If anyone can help me with this . im old hahahaha I met him when I was just 15 years old so I grew old with him. Do not look for proof of this, proof doesnt matter, facts dont matterthe only way your husband will be close by is through your own actions. I dont think I will ever get better. It's been 3 months since my husband passed. My God what if I do get into those 80s? In 2016 diagnosed stage 4 cancer in July Dr said aggressive cancer and he wont see Christmas, I couldnt breathe or talk I felt numb. I lost my husband 15 months ago. After I took him off life support. In the poignant track's lyrics, G-Eazy describes longing to reunite with someone in his dreams . His father had heart disease and We knew he had probably inherited his fathers genes for heart disease who passed at forty six and his father before him passed at forty two. Most importantly church, Its been 2and a half months since my fiance died suddenly day after Xmas 2020. God bless you all. The second year was painful that my wife of 28 years was not experiencing trips I was taking or vacations with our daughters. I pray for you and your recovery! To say I miss him, cant never give me the Allie: your situation is so like mine. Its bittersweet reading all the comments thinking Im only on my 2nd month and some took forever to move on. The reality of knowing that isnt going to happen is so heartbreaking. The second year is different in many ways, first that some people expect you to be over it. Nothing like my kind caring husband. I left the day they told me my husband was dying g to get my two young adult children. I miss my wife I came home from work 2018 found my wife on the bedroom floor. totally As far as these holidays coming up, i dont know how to get thru these,,,i feel time flying by as far as missing out, and yet its also dragging when it comes to healing. Truth is, he would be angry if I didnt try, and try hard. People are cruel regarding mourning time. i could be just reading a magazine and something pops up she used to like. Never to forget the wonderful years that you shared. Grief is a roller coaster ride that when you get off your left feeling dizzy and everything is. After being married 53 years I just have no idea what to do without him. Obviously the first year is hard everyday life is like a punch in the stomach and the air is sucked so ferociously out of your lungs by the thieving grief, you almost pass out, but because I was used to not seeing him for a couple of months I kept thinking Ill see him soon. This friend just had to rub salt in the wounds when she observed you worked so hard to lose all that weight, and now its all come back. My sister died 3 years ago at age 47. I cant say I know how you feel for every bereavement is utterly personal, but when I mentioned to my brother that I was crying so much and surprised at myself (not being a great crier) he said Well you cant just shrug off 45 years of togetherness can you? I too have felt the way you feel. I hope you learn to cope with this terrible grief, I hope you have people who are kind and stay around you. Really! I have actual pain when the tears come and my grief is not abating. Ive been around long enough and I dont really give a damn anymore about this earthly existence. Any suggestions. Why? I am short tempered and any direct insult toward me sets me off. Uthayanan SETHUPATHY. When Keanu died, I disintegrated physically and mentally. Also took her mind of it to for a bit. I lost my husband Rick 10/2018. Even though it has been a long time, it's still hard to believe that she's gone!. My grandma died on November 1st, and my oldest sister died somewhat unexpectedly on December 22nd. Some days, I think Im going to be ok (not the same kind of OK! that maybe I would have been before all this happened, but an ok relative to my new life), and other days Im in a deep, dark, scary place that I dont think I can survive. You are a child of the universe and have been left here for a reason. My father died in 2018, and I still grieve as if it just happened. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. They come 10 seconds apart and dont even give you time to catch your breath. Hi Sharon The first year was so very painful that I couldnt even bare having the dog around that he loved so much, that I gave him away. Im so glad I found this post. This ache in my heart is unbearable I just want to wake up and feel normal not this horrendous heart ache! The second Mothers Day without a mom. Right now, choose life - seize your divine moment. Freind I have no interest in life. Stay alive. I took care of him during his last two years . Its familiar, but different. I cant find joy. Love to everyone out there. Any advise? Do you have any suggestions as to how I can push myself to get past this hurdle. This is my second year and I am having the same thoughts. Its been a year and 5 months since I lost my husband. He Was Grieving Over The Death Of His Best Friend. My husband fought so hard for us. -R, I feel so sad reading your story. This is good to know. I can relate to nearly everyones pain, grief and hopelessness. Im not sure my beliefs on that score but I do know this.live does not die. They always say it will get better. Minimizing change gives the cat time to come to terms with the loss of a companion cat. the worst thing I did, was telling a 7 years old his dad wont be coming home, I heard the loudest screamed in my life, the screamed saying get my dad back ,I want him home. I cry everyday on and off. Life is not always what we want it to be and it is hard to comprehend and put into words just how you feel. Nothing has sidewiped me as my beloved partner partner. In my mind, it feels like if I had that one more, then I would be satisfied. I feel exactly the way you do. Be patient with those who dont understand. Grief is Grief. Remember the good times and know he would want you to live on and be happy. Weekday Calculator - What Day is this Date? Itll be 2 years in August since my husband passed away and my life has changed forever.I long to join him but know I have to keep going one step at a time one breath at a time. Nursed and cared for him at home right to the very end. We were married 47 years. @@i lost my daughter May 2, 2018. 22 Sep 2017. I lost my beautiful wife to colorectal cancer on Valentines Day 2020. A battle every day to overcome his heart disease with swollen limbs from heart failure. Your loss date was quite close to mine. He had the same slightly crooked nose, mocha skin, 5'9" body and Spartan-warrior haircut. My fathers started dating someone who slanders her and her opinion of me, and even though I know shes wrong and never met her it hurts so badly. He did have some medical issues but he pulled through all of them and then suddenly passed. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone. Then a few months later it came back with a vengeance.. everywhere. I believe that the Lord made our hearts for relationships, and that we are not to go life alone. Im basically still just going through the motions, something in my soul cracked this year when i lost them. I believe this because of my faith. I kept two puppies and suddenly have 4 dogs that I enjoy, more than church more than people. Seriously! I dont dream or have visions that bring me peace. Im angry at everyone, especially myself. That was a good process because it helped me to HOPE that my grief would abate. Please stay strong. Ill NEVER see him again. On that day I broke down in tears. She would know it was no tribute to her love that I cease to even love myself and the precious moments of life I still have. How do I move on. Checked in with my little nephew to see how he's been holding uphe told me that he wish he had more time with her. Required fields are marked *. To those who are grieving too, Im sorry for your loss. Sometimes I find myself asking Did this really Happen? Moving forward just doesnt seem possible. I lost my husband of 46 years , on our anniversary, just wam, bam out of the blue in summer of 2016. I cant explain why but I find my self at work looking out the window, seeing the rain and my heart hurts as if it just happened. I have also lost my fear of flying since my husband died on November 14, 2018. One feels so empty. I lost my mother Nov. 2013, my father march 2015, my stepmother feb 2016, my mother in law march 2016, my son may 2016 and his father july 2016 This is one year I will never get over. I have had a fight with depression most of my life. For a long time, fear of dropping the ball was governing my life. My faith has sustained me and has grown beyond what thought it could be. I hid from my emotions, thought I was in love again. Stay strong during this difficult time, and know we are always here for you. I now know I am normal again with just a different heart. Im bipolar, which does not help. I feel just like you have expressed. The second year was guilt as I moved further from her friends and family (honestly, we moved from each other). Each day.. Hi everyone! It can be just about anythingand the wave comes crashing. Jean was born on September 9, 1940 in Wabasha County to Arthur and Rachel (Kruger . Id have to agree; like a winter season goes, your heart is dormant. I miss him so much. My husband listens and understands and yet I continue to be sad. His sister, my Mum died when I was 13 & lived in Ireland (he lived in the UK), our life turned inside out, no real help, Father ignored us, out looking for another & drinking heavily. I do not want to do any of these things. The lord has a better plan for me. My two. I just want to isolate myself so people wont try to tell me to feel better when I cant. I just want to be gone too. Thats hard at 69 . But I guess it wasnt enough to keep him by my side. He was only 53 when he passed. I took time off work teaching to nurse her at home to the end. It has given me some techniques to address when a wave hits to create some space to be able to take a breath. Thank you Rachel. I wish I had that one more everyday. Im pretty much numb. It has been over 2 years and I still miss him so. I would be very grateful. My throat hurt so bad, I could hardly talk. Still no cause has been found. Scars are only ugly to people who cant see. I didnt get to tell him while looking into his eyes that I loved him so much and him the same with me I wish I could hear him say to me just one more time how much he loved me so. Collapsed at our 49th anniversary dinner. He left behind a 5 year old boy. One step at a time, small victories of peace- that is we will make it and live. It was a privilege to have caught a cracking beautiful ladys eye. But the grieving does not last all day but while it going on its intense. 17 years, but only suffered the last 2 years as life drained away from him. Im so sorry for your lossyour grief appears to be a response to a great connection and therefore a great loss of companionship and love. Im still waiting for the Universe show me the way. Time helps but its not a healer it helps you learn how to deal with your loss and acceptance helps a lot. Dont compare yourself with those whom you know have had a loss. He isnt hero, my best friend, and the man I wish I could be more like. I was sitting there totally blank, I want to cry knowing he wont be able to come home with us but theres nothing, I was trying to processed what happened but I just dont get it. We loved each other like no other. I have panic attacks. Him and I were very close. This 2nd year is unbelievably hard. When a friend's parent passes away, it can be hard to know what to say to them. "How are you doing?". What really helps is to volunteer helping others and stay busy. My dad also died suddenly Oct 21 2019 He was in good health and cancer free . Thank you. He was another father/brother figure for me and we were inseparable. I just come home and enjoy the dogs and just survive the day. But I meet someone in March 2017 three months after my husband passed away. (She just wasnt there no more. I am just that a misfit. Why are you tormenting me like this?! Ignore them but do not hold it in. The pain was so great. I was ok for awhile but all the sudden its hitting me like a brick wall. I tell her I miss her, she rolls her eyes and says, "Ugh. Am I wrong? Honor wherever you are right in this moment and know that even if it feels uncomfortable, unsettling and uneasy, that its probably exactly where you need to be. I was a young 54, when he was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer (non smoker). I want him back but I cant have him so Im living in hope that we will be reunited one day. I understand the empty feeling, the terrible ache. Now, though, it is hitting me that he is never coming back. I cannot imagine spending the rest of my life alone and I know my wife cant come back. (My sister and my dad helped, too.) Reading these posts have made me realize I am not alone, but do not help ease the unending pain I feel. I lost the only person who ever understood me and this is what that feels like. What we never knew was how devastating being left behind could be and continues to be. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at OHare. Thats beautiful. Its horrific. I hope that I can continue to heal for both our sakes. Well then so so much has been such a consequence that its like my late husband made use meet. For me food was an interesting ordeal. I went back to work on March 25th not long after his passing because I kinda freaked out when there was no money coming in yet so back to work I went. Every moment I remember her, not a single day after she left I did not crymy family/friends say you must move on. Now I know no matter what happens to me, at least mom is forever safe and even transcended death. Result: 660,116 days. He said any kind of self harm is your bodies way of protecting itself from the great, immeasurable pain. I hold his hand,calling his name tried to woke him up, then a nurse came to me and asked if I needed to call a priest, I was so shocked! Doo sorry for your loss x I lost my husband of 47 years 6 months ago and Im.sooo lost ..I cry all the time I dont eat or sleep he was my soul mate how does life go on, I lost my husband of 44 years dec 29, 2020 I am at a loss for life, he was 76 and I am 65 ,,, I pretty much took care of him for the last few years poor guy so so sad he was hating his disabilities so much pain he didnt really want anyone around and when we were alone he would get in a stressed out mood and yell how he hated life and wanted god to take him then cry and do it all over again and again for a very long time, I loved him more than life itself,,,, I have losses in my life my sibling,mother and father,,, I am exhausted now my husband I am so lost with my life and so sad. I feel very teary of late and missing him so. I hope you are well, and have found solid ground on which to stand. you learn to live with it, this is so true. I miss him so much and still feel so lost without him. This makes me hurt even more I live now in constant prayer for my darling to be in the joyous comfort of our Father and Jesus and that when Father is ready, He will call me Home and reunite us together as He joined us together in 1980. This effect makes it look like your fingernails, toenails and hair grew longer since you passed away.
it's been 9 months since you passed away