Robber: Oh yeah? Steve Urkel: I have a lot of personal experience in first aid. Harriette Winslow: Honey, that's not true. While he was starring in "Family Matters" as Steve Urkel, White also began a side hustle as another staple of the era's popular culture . Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. Stefan Urkelle: Where did you learn all that? Boyd broke my glasses. It was the most terrifying five minutes of my life, second only to watching Lord of the Dance! I'm on duty? That one friend who says going to gym will solve everything. Why, you teach us things about life! 12. r/Unexpected. Steve Urkel: I've taken a vow of chastity. [Steve comes out of the freezer at Rachel's Place shivering]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why don't you take the guy's next door? Carl: Rough. Rise! Steve Urkel: No, but it was moving kinda fast. Was it fair that you stood your father up for bowling? Uh, we're, uh, playin' hide and seek! Sorry. Chain: It occurs to me that you could be wired. Does that about cover it? Whoo! My zipper." 5. [after Carl comes out of the busted transformation chamber in an Urkel like fashion, due to Myra's tampering]. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [nervous laughter] Great Wedding, huh dad. Harriette Winslow: And I always mark the year, you gave it to me. I'm in this class. Steve Urkel: I've never tried out for athletics before and the equipment list says that every guy should wear a cup. Laura Lee Winslow: [enters the room] All right, Curtis. Just blacked out for a second there! and-so-the-balance-shifts-blog. Why, I guarantee you he has studied the best! Carl Otis Winslow: I do not care what other people think. And, he's got something that he didn't have before. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's a work of Harriette, get it, Art, Harriette? We'll start with a common Korean phrase. Steve Urkel: Then your nasal passages swell and your nose and throat slam shut tighter than a clam. You refuse to go out with me for the last decade! I didn't kiss you. Chocum hi chip chok!". Carl Otis Winslow: What did she have to say? Wha? I wish I'd never done it. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Yup. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I know that I'm not worthy of you, but I just can't help loving you. Laura Lee Winslow: That's right, I don't know, and I still like the Cards. Steve Urkel: Well, isn't that just a FIIIINE kettle of fish? Aunt Oona: Well not good, my kitchen exploded. This could be an emergency and I'm not even dressed yet! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wrong, cummerbund breath. You ever been down to the slaughterhouse? You think she'll really kiss Steve? Eddie, your father left you three messages for you and you never called him back. Laura: Yeah. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Hey Steve, Was'sup? While a miserable Eddie has to play checkers with Steve. My parents would only take Steve if Steve's parents promised to take me. Curtis: I know you're disappointed. Then, you broke my car, and it cost me every cent I got to fix it and rent this "delightful" room here at the "Fleabag Inn". [Steve and Carl are playing Gin Rummy when an infuriated, Eddie and Laura come into the house.]. Harriette Winslow: [retrieves a coupon from her purse] Ohhh no no no, Carl! Their own version of the 3 R's? You know, I was exposed to this sort of thing when I was growing up, but I always hoped it would be different for my kids. Why, it'll ruin my transcript! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I prefer to call it sharing. You know that in Kenya, "Urkel" means "a benign cyst on the foreleg of a wildebeest"? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Chuck is twice the man Raoul is. Eddie: I'm sorry, Steve. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: It was Jan Matzeliger, in 1883. Carl Otis Winslow: Alright Harriette, you were a liiiiiiiittle abrasive tonight. He's never used his! Carl Otis Winslow: Well yeah. [laughs] Bye! [Handing out] Menu, menu, menu, menu, menu. Clean up your room Edward. What do you use to get weighed, a postage scale? Carl: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! He's gonna drive us tonight. [Comes in the lving room with Mother Winslow as Eddie is taking his frustrations out on his sack of dirty laundry because Carl has just taken Waldo to the Chicago Bulls game instead of him]. And you taught Cassie Lynn Nubbles, the posterchild for useless people, how to do things for herself. Then, I drove you here in *my* car, and were you pleasant company? Rachel Crawford: Maybe you could come back when your voice has changed. Steve Urkel: Swell, Punch! It's Monday! Look, I love you with all my heart, but just because you don't love me back doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Then, you'll need a wide-angle lense. Sergeant Shishka: Urkel, Winslow, you are not on my list of new recruits. Like a moth to a flame. Urkelbot: [sneaks up behind the robber and surprises him] Freeze! Having run for nine seasons, Family Matters became the second longest-running non-animated U.S. sitcom with a predominantly African American cast, behind only The Jeffersons (11). Carl Otis Winslow: Well sweetheart, if you feel that strongly about it, maybe you should do something about it. Ms. Steuben: Well, I guess he's changed a little. It meant a lot to me. Steve Urkel: Well, I didn't have one. Steve Urkel: Loving you is like trying to touch a star. And if you call me names, do I not eat? You're so beautiful, you take their breath away. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. Robbins: Hey everyone, Laura Winslow's date is Steve Urkel. Urkel, the camera was on Eddie the whole time. Laura: Steve, you like this kind of music? Myra Monkhouse: Mr.Winslow, I am very sorry. Harriette: Well, if he remembers you, he's used to you looking like a jerk. It's a cool chamber. When's it going to end? Willie Fuffner: [sigh] That's different. Steve Urkel: [shows up in the living room with his flowers from the cemetery] Hi Laura, these are for you. I had 8 shots of Espresso, a 6-pack of Jolt Cola, and a large bowl of Froot Loops with extra sugar. Every time I ask her about it, she just cries and takes another Rolaid. Carl will understand. Carl Otis Winslow: 150 extra people on what should've been a small family affair. I'm drawn to you. This means you guys have to go together. Where do I sign? [just got lemon tart filling thrown at him]. None of this is your fault. Wa chee! Oh, yes it is! You can stay. Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. Rodney Beckett: Steve, come on outside. You think I'm fat. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. Actor Jaleel White, famous for his cultural touchstone role as Steve Urkel in Family Matters, is entering the cannabis industry.Through a partnership with 710 Labs, White's new cannabis line . Me and the guys were going to have a flyer party next Saturday when you go out of town. Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. Harriette Winslow: She's still pretty upset, she wouldn't even touch her dinner. Harriette Winslow: [Waldo crashes his snowmobile in the Winslows' living room] Waldo? Harriette: [still unsympathetic towards Eddie's selfishess] Fair? "You're like Pringles; once I pop you, I can't stop you." 6. Carl Otis Winslow: Yep, Benjamin Banneker. Steve Urkel: But, I've been practicing and my progress is impressive, even if I do say so myself. Carl Otis Winslow: [Has just gotten wind of Eddie's flyer party] Edward! Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [not knowing Steve and Laura saw each other naked] All right, chicken. This library card is proof that ONE person can make a difference. And, I just wanted to wish you good luck. Eddie swoops in and starts taking pictures]. then removes his hand]. This isn't my grandmother. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. We are properly trained. And most of all, you don't have to deal with bullies. I'm getting dizzy. Steve Urkel: I don't have to take this! Steve Urkel: It wasn't that play that cost you the championship. Steve Urkel: Edward this stuff's been hawked. Laura Lee Winslow: Well I guess Steve was practicing his accordion. Steve Urkel: Uh no. Steve Urkel: Why, to make everyone think that the woman I love actually loves me back? Harriette Winslow: I am not! [Willie is upset at Waldo as Laura shows up to the crime. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: But you can't fire Waldo, he's our friend. Carl: [in an Urkel like voice and gives Stefan some money] Here takes some casher rooney and fix it sooney. And we practiced for six minutes! Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them! Sheldon is rude, vain, obnoxious, and one-dimensional. Rachel Crawford: Well, I'm planning dinner for a very, very special friend. Carl Otis Winslow: [kisses the ice cream carton] Goodbye. Just as I thought. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to a sorority girl] That dress is so tight! Steve Urkel: Don't feel bad. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Tries to hold Eddie from pounding their friends] Eddo. Look, Steve. I can turn you down without destroying your ego. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh well Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean to tell me that the Army screwed up the paper work again. Laura Lee Winslow: O.k. Estelle Winslow: Carl! Come here. Harriette Winslow: [enters the house and sees Curtis] Hi. Waldo Geraldo Faldo, Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cheating? steve urkel pick up linesaiken county sc register of deeds steve urkel pick up lines All you'll hear from me is an occasional, 'Mmmhmm, that's right.'. Cop: [Searching Willie and Waldo] Ok, where did you hide the booze? "Take out the trash, Edward." I don't *ever* want to work for you again. At the airport he picked up 6 bags. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why aren't you? The black kids won't talk to the white kids, people are calling each other names, taking sides! An illustration of a horizontal line over an up pointing arrow. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah, well. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off. Now, what you do on your own time is your business. I can't afford a B on my permanent record. Well if he does it again, I'm gonna grab his bellows and make a wish. Carl Otis Winslow: That's wonderful, son. Carl Otis Winslow: He's trouble. Laura Lee Winslow: How fast are we going now? Steve who? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yeah, you have to use bleach. I wanna read it to my mom. Eddo. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: We took in $2,000 dad and we want you to have it. [Steve thinks Rachel is in love with him, but she is really in love with another man named Steve]. Laura: Girl, have you ever seen the hair salon so crowded? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Chondra in the bar about Maxine] Aww, yeah, she's a sweetheart but if she caught us in here together she'd rip off your arm and beat me with it. And what about the car show last Saturday? Old money has more wrinkles! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [seeing what Laura looks like without sleep] You remind me of a movie star. Steve Urkel: I've invented nuclear batteries. You're taking me out for dinner at Chez Josephine's. Well let me tell you something sir, if that's the kind of boss you are. Carl: Maybe you can even resurrect your band. Laura, please. And sometimes I was sorry I ever started the whole thing, but I didn't quit. You've got twenty-four hours to drop out of the race or we publish the picture. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl hasn't moved that fast since he chased a doughnut down hill. Steve Urkel: I can't! The Its PurpL logo features the young mug of White as Steve Urkel, with his signature Coke-bottle spectacles and high-top fade haircut that blends into a purple haze riding above the floating. But, it's only a compliment and it doesn't mean anything more than that. Well, he got it trapped in the rear door of a Buick and was dragged eight and a half blocks. Harriette: Yep, they were yelling at each other and bumping bellies. Rachel Crawford: Sort of an Urkel Exchange Program? Once, I found them in Milwaukee living under an assumed name! Ok, just give me a couple of days and I sould have it fixed. The Urkel mock will think bigger in potential screw-ups for teams that have valued assets poorly in the past than for teams that have made few mistakes. Carl Otis Winslow: [Laura comes home distraught] Laura, what happened? Carl Otis Winslow: Only 2 of them were his. Laura: Wait a second. [does Steve's laugh and snort]. Stefan Urkelle: Wake me, shake me, break me, but baby, don't forsake me. Trying to cover it up would only make it worse. Calm down, easy. You showed me a picture of your dog. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Don't you worry, I'll work on him. Sign up | Log in An . Urkelbot: [Joe Friday Impression] Just the facts, ma'am. I do not like 30 people hanging around my shoulder, saying "Hey Senora, can you eat a little faster?". often referred to simply by his surname, Urkel, is the main protagonist of Family Matters. Don't they teach Black History at your school? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait just a minute here, Mr.McClure. Carl Otis Winslow: That a girl, Harriette. Steve Urkel: [ice pack on his head from a hangover, Carl just told him a story from his drinking days] Eh he he, ow, eh he he ow, [snorts] WHOOAAOOH! Check it out: Urkelbot: [Dirty Harry Impression] Go ahead, punk! Harriette: [sobbing] Clint is driving off and Meryl will never see him again! And it will also think of a range of mistakes, not just the standard fare of stats guys everywhere: the disastrous trade up. From now on, no parties and no TV. Rachel Crawford: Oh. Harriette Winslow: I simply put out his cigar. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well now that depends, how nice of a Christmas gift do you want. One Now, let's read it! Ms. Steuben: Uh, excuse us just a minute. Take out the trash Edward, "Tomorrow Dad!" Harriette Winslow: Laura, you've had your head in those books all morning, got a big test coming up? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What the heck is wrong with you? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How could you mess this up? [Eddie comes crashing through the living room in the car], [Stefan did not take his "cool boost" for that week - he wants to turn back into Steve]. You had an accident. Stefan Urkelle: It's not just a transformation chamber. All kids 7 and up go to Eddie's room and play Nintendo. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You remember our flyer party, the one that I'm clearly on record as totally aganst. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. Cassie Lynn: Well, we just got some really hot photos of you being romanced by the Prince of Passion here. Laura Lee Winslow: Well that really bugs me. He just told you to get lost. Do you have any idea how much you changed him? Steve Urkel: Well, if I did, nobody would ever let me in. Our limo awaits. Ms. Steuben: All right, class. So long! He's so sad he could depress Richard Simmons. Carl: Well, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of a guy named Weasel. Steve is clumsy and obsessive yet charismatic and likable. Let's trot on over there and see what develops. That's all. Steve Urkel: You didn't even make it onto the chart! He created a machine that could cause items to grow in size. Laura Lee Winslow: [comes in with Mother Winslow's dress from the dry cleaners] Ugh mom, this place is really getting gross. All we had to do was drop some dead guy off at the graveyard. Why are you guys dressed like that? Originally slated to have been a one-time only character on the show, he soon became its most popular character and gradually became its protagonist.. Steve is the epitome of a geek/nerd, with large, thick eyeglasses, flood . Laura Lee Winslow: It was just a little practical joke. [to Steve] I'm wearing you DOWN, baby! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No thanks, Eddie. If you hit me, do I not sneeze? Right now you have over a 100 crazed teenagers in your backyard ready to boogie. ", Harriette Winslow: She looked at me with tears in her eyes, and she said "Why, Mom?". Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. You're late for class. Steven Quincy Urkel: I'm not through! Now let me get this straight, you dented the car. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll show him. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: No. [Eddie has just realized his mistake in standing his father for the chance to go out on his date with a girl that he likes]. Stefan Urkelle: Not I know that's not Carl. College Problems Student Problems I mean, I'm a fast runner, Eddie, but sooner or later, you just gotta stop running. "I heard you are looking for a stud. Remember you wished that Steve could find out what's it like to be you. Now I know, I'm not worthy of you- but I love you more now then I did then- Laura Lee Winslow- will you marry me? "Some people are ignorant, they're afraid, they hate anybody and anything that's different. Lt. Murtaugh: Keep the pace, Mr. Backwards Hat! Who? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Waldo come to the Witness Stand. We were just having a little fun. Harriette Winslow: Carl Winslow, this is the most insensitive, unromantic gift I have ever received. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well, so is Urkelbot! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Dad, when are we leaving? Harriette Winslow: So how're things back home? The rest of the rules are covered in this contract. That's one for the books! Laura: Waldo, what's with Steve, he's acting wierd, even for him! [Comes out and fights Willie as the students cheer for a fight between Urkel and Fuffner], [Waldo and Wille has just gotten out of class to trash Urkel's locker]. Steve Urkel: I'll settle for a toenail clipping! I just caught her, that's all. Steve Urkel was the breakout character for the hit Friday night ABC sitcom "Family Matters" while Jaleel White who played him was the show's breakout star. Laura: Don't argue. Laura: I was thinking about taking a home economics class so I can learn how to cook. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: All right. Steve Urkel: [Talking to Eddie and his girlfriend] You heard her, you're all witnesses. Steve Urkel: I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. Harriette Winslow: And you think I'm FAT? You think it's funny to spike somebody's punch and watch them act like a fool. But you'll never play in this game again. Nobody threatens my woman! A few minutes ago, I just saw Laura and I fanted. Oh when he shows up, it's amputation time. Gosh I bet that's never happened before. Steve Urkel: Ms Steuben, you taught Laura to slow down and stop taking short cuts. Steven Quincy Urkel is a fictional character on the American ABC/CBS sitcom Family Matters, portrayed by Jaleel White. Steve Urkel: Is there anything I can do for you while I'm down here waiting? Eddie: I guess this means you're gonna ground us, huh? Steve Urkel: No, well, actually it's my Uncle Ernie's hearse. Chuck is twice the man, Raoul is. Willie Fuffner: I'm gonna trash Urkel's locker. [He leaves the house]. Wha? Carl: Stefan, you gotta help me. You have the right to have an attorney present. And I don't get many calls! A mouse to cheese! But, if I'm not, the last two words you'll ever say will be, "A Choo.". Pretty girl, dark hair your sister for God's sake! The only reason I asked you to be my partner was because I was worried about my grade. I never got an 'A' before. Eddie: I meant, I haven't seen her today. No. Eddie has lied . April 24th, Carl, I planted this fake diary because I knew you'd read it. [Goes to feel his head]. Rachel Crawford: Harriette, we've got to talk. Cassie Lynn: Try me. This is amazing! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Was I ever! Do these guys have game? Steve Urkel: My Blood pressure. And instead of admitting to it, you got yourself involved in gambling. Carl: Son, I am no neophyte when it comes to electronics. No. I'm Stefan sweet thing. Steve Urkel: Come on everybody, let's ooh the durkel! Laura: I couldn't have done this without you. I didn't expect you to be in there and I feel like such a worm. It's like wanting to touch a star- you know you'll never reach it but you've just gotta keep trying. And I hear myself telling her the same things my mother told me. He breaks something a beaker along the way]. Maxine Johnson: Yeah and poor you, you gonna miss your prom. Laura: Not when the bomb is in the basement with you! Dec 25, 2011 - Explore Nadia Hussein's board "Steve Urkel", followed by 259 people on Pinterest. Steve Urkel: By any chance, is that something you enjoy? Steve Urkel: Why, of course it can! ABC/Warner Bros Remember Steve Urkel? Carl Otis Winslow: I'll get that, you must be having a rough day. Allison: Well then you better find some new friends, or you better plan to join a different sororiety. Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, that's right, how'd you know? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, suppose I arrange for you to meet Johnny Gill personally. Steve Urkel: Yeah, and then if you sneeze why, your entire head explodes like a cherry bomb in a cantaloupe. Laura Lee Winslow: Hey, my locker's open! Due to the Urkel character's off-putting characteristics and the way he would stir up events and underscore the plot or even move . Carl: Rachel, you're putting entirely too much filling in those. Harriette Winslow: And deliberately sat us next to a cigar smoker. We'll go camping together some other time. Third, if you touch me at any time, the "non-date" is over. Pass the salt, Edward. Carl Otis Winslow: [Takes the money from Eddie] I love you son. I love this lady [Laura] and I can come over here anytime I want to and you can't stop me! Steve Urkel: Why, sure! Harriette Winslow: [while trying to calm an apprehensive Rachel about leaving Richie overnight with the babysitter for the first time] Rachel, I know it's hard leaving your baby for the first time, but after that it gets a lot easier.

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